B and I were talking late last night and again this morning and although we aren't disagreeing which mutual friends to tell, we also can't get to grips with who we should tell.
It's so difficult because my past and current jobs have involved knowing a lot of local people and as much as I don't feel I have anything to hide, I also don't know if I want people gossiping behind my back. B was a client of mine so she also knows a lot of the same people.
My question is: how has who to tell, become a bigger problem in my head than the operation itself ?
Advice and tips very welcome, I am actually feeling a little overwhelmed by this whole subject :-(
Well this is the age old debate isn't it. You will find there are really two camps out there in regards of who to tell. Those of us who tell everyone who will listen, and those who keep it very private. I even knew one blogger once who didnt tell a soul, not even her husband. She told him she was having gallbladder surgery. That's another issue entirely. In the end, it is up to you. For me though, I believe it is one of the things that motivated me and pushed me. By telling everyone I felt more accountable. I felt more of a push. And I was never ashamed of it. By keeping it a secret, you perpetuate the idea that there is something wrong with choosing to have WLS. Is it a sure thing? For sure not. But we've got to try. I think some people fear those who say "It's the easy way out" or "you're cheating"...sweet baby sausages...it surely is/was not easy...but by sharing my story from the beginning, people who know my journey now know that it takes work. And by telling people, I like to to think that I may have helped a few decided on surgery and that by telling them, it changed their lives (hopefully for the better). But I am an open book anyways! So I would probably be the extreme end of the scale (pun intended). In the end, you can't give much thought to haters or those who are going to talk negative. Life is to short. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Amy, going to start your blog from the beginning tonight :-) x
ReplyDeleteIt is a really tough choice. I told some people (my family knows...some friends) and others I chose not to. Some I wish I hadn't ever told. The ones I wish I hadn't are the ones you get the "should you be eating that" comments from later on...those are annoying. There's one super-judgey (is that a word?) person in my life who I'm so glad I didn't tell. She has personally lost a lot of weight herself through exercise and "clean eating", and seriously denigrates people who have had any kind of WLS, even though I know her mother had it when we were teenagers (though it failed horribly for her).
ReplyDeleteAt this point...5 years post op...I mention it "matter of fact-ly" to people. I don't dwell on it. If I'm speaking to someone new and the topic of weight loss comes up, then I might throw it in, but I always focus on how it is just a tool and how diet and exercise are still required to lose weight. This just helps on the diet part to not feel so hungry all the time. But I don't share it on my FB page...and none of my friends and family know about my blog. That is my place to freely write what I feel. My husband knows I have a blog...but he's never asked to see it. Whether he has hunted it down via a browser history search, I truly can't say. He may have...but I don't think I have anything to hide from him.